image copyrightJohn M Lund Photography Inc via Getty Images
During my childhood I had many wonderful friendships, but one group in particular left an indelible mark.
Capin, Mia and Hannah were my best friends from a very young age, and I remember many happy times together. On hot summer days, we spent hours making daisy garlands, looking for curiously shaped clouds, and practicing cartwheels.
We were an inseparable quartet, although not the conventional kind: Capin, Mia and Hannah were figments of my imagination.
But I didn't create them because I was lonely, shy, or lacking friends in real life. In fact, all these years later, I'm still not sure where they came from or why.
Whatever the origin of my friends, research on imaginary friends suggests that I was lucky to have them.
image copyrightIsobel Heywood
The friendly milk carton
According to psychologists Naomi Aguiar and Marjorie Taylor from Oregon State University in the United States, by the time they turn 7, two-thirds of children have already had an imaginary friend, a character they created with whom they interact or talk about regularly.
"These children do not have fewer friends than other children; they have the same number of reciprocal friendships as children without imaginary friends. And the reality shown by the data is that they are like other children in almost all aspects," says Aguiar, psychologist and author of "Imaginary Friends and the People Who Create Them."
"Many children create imaginary friends because they are fun and because they really like social interactions," he says.
End of Most read
However, according to research, these fictional beings can offer benefits that go far beyond simple company.
Children with imaginary friends may excel as creative storytellers, be less shy, be more interested in fantasy, have greater attention spans, use screens less, and have more vivid mental images than children without imaginary friends.
image copyrightGetty Images/BBC
All the news you need is on BBC World Service
Download it here
End of Ad app
As Aguiar explains, each imaginary friend is unique to the child who creates it and is often personalized to adapt to the changing whims and needs that arise throughout childhood.
One of her favorite examples is the case of a girl who had an invisible milk carton as a friend. The milk carton taught her what it was like to not be human, and she taught the milk carton what it was like to be human, Aguiar says.
My imaginary friends appeared when I was around 3 years old.
Hannah and Mia are inspired by two girls from a ballet movie. They never walked, only jumped, skipped, and spun in a constant cycle of ballet sequences, and they wore matching pale pink leotards, tutus, and ballet slippers.
But I have no idea where Capin came from.
He was older than the three of us, with an air of sophistication that materialized in a gray cloud that followed him. He tended to stay on the sidelines, offering thoughtful advice when necessary.
Learn about other minds
"For me, the most important part of an imaginary companion is the creation of the mind and the interaction with that mind," says Paige Davis, associate professor of developmental psychology and psychopathology at the University of Leeds in the United Kingdom.
Some are based on real people or personified objects, and others materialize in the form of an animal or fantastic creature.
Marta Giménez-Dasí, of the University of Valencia in Spain, and her colleagues found that children between 4 and 6 years old who had imaginary friends scored higher than children who did not have them on tests of theory of mind and emotional understanding; That is, they were able to understand that people have beliefs, desires and intentions different from their own.
It is not clear whether this emotional understanding is a result of cultivating imaginary companions, or if the opposite is true, and children who are interested in the minds of others are more likely to create companions.
Practice friendship
Davis and her colleagues investigated whether the benefits of having imaginary friends extended beyond neurotypical children.
According to Davis, autistic children form and maintain successful friendships, but their way of communicating and understanding social and emotional relationships is often different from that of their neurotypical peers, which can have an impact on these relationships.
Additionally, they often engage in pretend play a little differently, doing activities like drawing instead of pretend play, Davis says.
Taken together, this indicates that they might be less inclined to create imaginary friends.
However, when Davis interviewed parents of 124 autistic children, he found that 49% of participants reported that their child had created an imaginary friend between the ages of one and 11.
According to experts, through these relationships, children with autism have the opportunity to practice social interactions, which they may find difficult.
"Creating an imaginary companion can be a safe forum for exploration," says Tracy Gleason, a psychology professor at Wellesley College in the United States.
"Parents of autistic children who created an imaginary friend reported that they felt their child had a better theory of mind than parents of those who did not," says Davis, "and they were also much more interested in spending time with them or making new friends."
Imaginary friendships can also help children begin to develop their boundaries, understand their comfort levels, learn to navigate difficult conversations, and establish common ground to solve a problem.
Aguiar gives the example of a child who has a friend at school who keeps stealing his favorite truck. Maybe your imaginary friend is also stealing your favorite truck, he says.
Through his imaginary friend, the child can shout, apologize and then reach a mutual agreement.
"It's age-appropriate because the child is the one who directs the (problem solving)," Aguiar says.
Friends for life?
"I think a lot of people have the impression that (imaginary friendships) are something that happens in early childhood and that they're not a part of development," Gleason says. "But they do occur in adolescence and adulthood."
In a recent study, which is still being peer-reviewed, Gleason found that many adults had imaginary friends. 68% of the 56 participants who claimed to have an imaginary friend had created one before the age of 20. About 30% of participants said they had created them in adulthood.
According to Gleason, adults create imaginary friendships for a variety of reasons, ranging from companionship and social support to intellectual simulation, motivation, affection, emotional intimacy, advice, moral problem solving, and to have some fun and relieve the daily stresses of adult life.
"It's a little more about getting along in society, being part of a group, being good at your job," Gleason says, suggesting they can help adults practice work-related situations.
"They also help you grow and evolve, while giving you the opportunity to become who you want to be and live that life," he adds.
While some imaginary friends say goodbye at the end of childhood, others remain by our side and offer their help at every stage of life.
Capin, Mia and Hannah made me great company, and perhaps helped me recognize questions about my personal development that I didn't realize needed answering.
But when I was about 9 years old, as I approached my teenage years, Capin, Mia, and Hannah disappeared, leaving me alone to fend for myself.
As I imagine us now huddled together in the garden, watching the clouds ripple around each other, a wave of warmth fills my chest.
I know that Hannah and Mia's impressive pirouette sequences are a thing of the past.
As for Capin, it's hard to know if he'll be back. Maybe in the future I will need your guidance. And I have the feeling that if that happened, he would be there for me, with his aura of wisdom.
*This article was published on BBC Future. Click here if you want to read the original version (in English).
This article was originally written in English and we used an artificial intelligence tool to translate it. A BBC journalist reviewed the text before publication. Learn more about how we use AI.
Discover more
Video
End of Video
